Richard Ayoade has set down his most enormous thoughts for the benefit of all those who dare read them. Thoughts like . . .

TV detectives need a gimmick. Mine would be not caring who did it.

If, when one door shuts, another door opens, there’s something wrong with your doors. They shouldn’t be doing that.

Where’s the box to tick if you ARE a robot?

My mother used to say Manners Maketh the Man, but I didn’t think it was very mannerly of her to make fun of my lisp.

Plato, Aristotle, Montaigne. Men who have searched for meaning with, let’s face it, mixed results. Whither the one who can solve it? Cometh the hour, cometh the Ayoade. He brings wisdom distilled from a life lived in relentless pursuit of Truth.

Afterthoughts goes beyond rumination, past pondering, probing further than ever before, drawing from a deeply private pool of questions: a reservoir so refreshing you may never need to think again.